50 Cringe Worthy Dad Jokes 

1. Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
2. Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
3. 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
4. Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
5. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
6. What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
7. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
8. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
9. The rotation of earth really makes my day.
10. I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts
11. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
12. I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!
13. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.
14. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
15. A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
16. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
17. Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
18. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
19. People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
20. Slept like a log last night … woke up in the fireplace.
21. What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
22. A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
23. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down.
24. I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
25. What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? A: catch up!
26. Q: What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe? A: 400 Million Dollars.
27. Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where’s popcorn?
28. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
29. What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
30. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
31. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
32. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls!
33. “Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”
34. Where does batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
35. What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles
36. Commissar! Commissar! The troops are revolting! Commissar: Well, you’re pretty repulsive yourself.
37. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
38. I knew I shouldn’t have ate that seafood. Because now I’m feeling a little… Eel
39. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.
40. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
41. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
42. Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
43. Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
44. What kind of magic do cows believe in? MOODOO.
45. Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
46. “Hold on, I have something in my shoe”  “I’m pretty sure it’s a foot”
47. When phone ringing Dad says ‘If it’s for me don’t answer it.
48. “I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You.’”
49. Where’s the bin? Dad: I haven’t been anywhere!
50.  RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

Cheers to all the dad's out there. I hope you all survived the dad joke list posted above, and if you did, be sure to leave a comment on which one was your favorite or add a new one to the mix. Now I would like to leave you all with one quote to remember: